Is Collaborative Family Law the Best Choice?

Collaborative family law is not for every client or indeed every lawyer. Only you can decide whether or not you want to try it.

Collaborative family law may well be for you:

• If you wish to have a dignified and non-aggressive resolution of the issues
• If you and your partner have children and wish to keep the children's needs and interests at the forefront of your decision making and wish to retain a good relationship as parents
• If you wish to keep alive the possibility of friendship or a continuing although changed relationship with your partner in the future and if you wish to have that same relationship with mutual friends and members of each other's family
• If you wish to retain control over decision making and do not wish to hand over such decisions to lawyers or a Judge.

• If your main aim in the process is to seek revenge or to make your partner suffer
• If you are so bound up with emotion that you do not believe that you can separate your emotional need to show how much you have been hurt, from the need to resolve the issues
• If you feel so much under threat from your spouse or partner that you will be unable to negotiate without the fear of violence before or after meetings
• If you know beyond doubt that your spouse will be dishonest, and will try to hide the true financial picture
• If you wish to use the process to hide information yourself
• If you wish the decisions to be made by a Court or a Judge in any event

How Much Does It Cost?

Both parties instruct their own collaborative family lawyers. Each will therefore pay their own lawyers at whatever is that lawyer's standard rate. The charges are usually based on how much time is spent at an hourly rate.

There is no such thing as an average divorce or relationship breakdown as each is different. Many cases resolve over a series of between 4 and six four way meetings each lasting one and a half to two hours. In addition the individuals will need to consult with their lawyers before and after these meetings. Including time spent on the drafting the documents needed following agreement in order to obtain Court Order, each client is likely to incur charges reflecting between 20 and 30 hours of their lawyers time. It may be more and could be less.

The issue of costs is one of the matters that is dealt with within the meetings, to ensure that there is fairness to all parties, as with all other issues.

Cost, however, is not simply financial. There is a huge emotional cost in relationship breakdown. The collaborative process can help to reduce this and, as the outcome is one which both parties agree is the most suitable in the circumstances, the future emotional cost is minimised.

There is often considerable bitterness where one party feels they have lost in Court and this can seriously affect the relationship of the couple as parents for the future. One of the major reasons for opting for the collaborative process is to minimise the effect of the divorce or relationship breakdown on the children. For children to see that it is possible to have a civilised, dignified and co-operative separation in which the parents still have the interest of the children at the forefront of their mind, is likely to have a long lasting effect on them and their own future relationships.

Is the Process Faster Than Going To Court?

The participants set the speed of the negotiations. Currently a Court case is likely to take at least a year to get to a full trial and a minimum of 6 months to the financial dispute resolution hearing stage, which is the stage at which many cases settle. The Collaborative process can be much faster, as one is not subject to Court timetables and backlogs.

there may well be relatively long periods between the initial meetings, during the fact-finding process. Obtaining the financial information and completing financial questionnaires can be time consuming. It is often agreed that there should be gaps of a month to 6 weeks between meetings to enable this process to take place. Once all the information has been obtained and the parties are negotiating and considering proposals, it is often possible for the meetings to be much closer together.

Am I Going To Get All the Financial Information?

You may worry that your spouse or partner will not provide full and frank disclosure of information. Part of the agreement between the parties provides for there to be full and frank disclosure of all relevant documents and information relating to the issues, including all financial issues, early in the process. This is the same duty of disclosure that would exist whichever model the individuals choose to resolve their difficulties, be it mediation or litigation.

Both the clients and the collaborative lawyers sign an agreement. Part of that agreement is that the collaborative lawyers themselves must withdraw from acting for their client if they believe that their own client is withholding or misrepresenting information intentionally or is participating in the process in bad faith.

Experienced family lawyers are used to looking at the disclosure of information from clients and the other side in order to find out whether or not full disclosure has been given. It is actually not as easy as people think to hide information from their lawyers or their former partner. The collaborative lawyers use their skill both in relation to their own client's information and in relation to the information from the other party. Questions about the disclosure can be raised in order to ensure that disclosure is complete.

If, however, you are certain that your partner is unlikely to be honest about his or her financial affairs then collaborative family law may not be the correct route for you to take. The same applies if you want to use this process to attempt to hide things. You will not be able to.

You should also bear in mind that the result of a successful collaborative family law negotiation is an agreement or Court Order. If substantial non-disclosure occurs and is later discovered, the Court has power to overturn the agreement or order.

What Happens If We Don't Agree?

If an agreement cannot be reached then the collaborative lawyers must withdraw from the matter and the clients will need to instruct other lawyers to ask the Court to decide. The financial or other open information will be available to the Court process so that the time spent on this will not be wasted. Obviously updated information may be required.

The fact that the collaborative family lawyers will not be able to act for the clients in a contested case has been found to be a very important element of collaborative family law. This disqualification agreement means that all the parties, including the lawyers, are attempting to achieve settlement without threatening or being subject the the threat of Court proceedings when things become difficult. Without this it is too easy for a client or lawyer to threaten litigation if their views are not accepted.